Not Quite Cliche
by EternalWaltz
Summary: "Because Levi's hands didn't have to hold roses to be able to hold her." A Levihan poem, told from Hanji's POV.


Disclaimer: Attack on Titan does not belong to me, and I am in no way associated with the franchise. I don't own any of the characters, settings, etc.

A/N- I was compelled to post a love poem on Valentine's Day. Although, this is less of a poem than just a detached collection of thoughts.

Not Quite Cliché

From the day she first saw him, she knew

A curl of the lip, an impatient scowl, and a shuffling on the induction stage

And she knew

This man was too withdrawn for love

But one can never truly quell curiosity

One can never bridle the sparkle of awe

Her mind told her it was interest, but her heart told her otherwise

A scientist always puts logic over emotions

So she tried- oh, how she tried

To keep the budding joy of companionship purely professional

To silence the heart of a long-weary soul

She let her words contradict her thoughts

Tried to be cheerful, always bright

Dropped a joke here and there

Had a serious conversation more than once

But she allowed the air between them to go stagnant,

For the suffocating aura of friendship to choke her

She hadn't the courage to say something

You couldn't nurse feelings during wartime

They'd both seen so much carnage, so much chaos, so much futile suffering

That their visions had long gone red

Red as the dried blood caked on the badges of their comrades

They were wise enough to know that love during chaos went in either two directions

Unspoken and unrequited, a secret only gasped by one's dying breath

...Or to have found something and lost it-

To have your other half snatched from your grasp, forever vanished into the maw of a Titan

Was love worth the ire of eventually letting your significant other go?

And if she would be the one to go first?

She wondered if Levi would cry for her

Then laughed out loud at the thought

Besides, it was selfish

She couldn't cause turmoil in his emotions

Because in this war, a second of lost focus- a moment of hesitation

...would cost you your life.

Every soldier's life was dispensable, if it was for the good of the good of the cause

And if being forced to value her life at no more than a number hurt him-

if it broke him

...she would never forgive herself.

After all, who knew hold long Levi could maintain his steely mask of indifference

Before the creature that had endured all of his pain lashed out?

She couldn't take that risk

For humanity's sake

And for Levi's sake

She'd seen the way people were drawn to him

His cadets, watching from a distance with hushed tones of fear and wonder in their voices

His squad, gathering around him with pure admiration in their eyes

And his superiors, with mutual respect of his abilities

It seemed that everyone could sense that he was destined for greater things

She'd seen his valor on the battlefield

Swift, with the deadly accuracy of an assassin,

And fierce, with the might of a warrior

He'd been compared to a bird

His superior grace and skill demanded no less of a compliment

This man was the living incarnation of the "Wings of Freedom"

He was soaring- higher, faster, than anyone else

She wanted to stay close to him

But she refused to hold him back- refused to weigh him down

She would not allow herself to clip his wings

So Hanji worked hard

She practiced and studied and clawed her way up the ranks

She acquired her own squad, people loyal enough to follow her to the end

She became an esteemed scientist, the only one brave enough to study Titans

She grew to be a prime source of intelligence and progress for the military

All to keep up with him

And when the day came when he finally respected her as an equal,

Hanji felt accomplished

She would never have to worry about her inferiority again

She knew that she was tougher now,

and had earned a spot next to him on the podium

She'd heard of his past, of course

A thug leader in the Underground

That had been blackmailed by Erwin to join the Scouting Legion

People always spoke ill of the Underground, and of the "filth" that resided there

Hanji thought that their beliefs were unfounded

She wasn't ignorant, having been to the Underground herself

It had been a mission,

to capture a rogue smuggling 3D maneuver gear

She'd seen crying children, penniless people, famished families

She'd seen lost souls

She pitied for them, wished that she could guide their wandering spirits

But she was a soldier, and she'd keep herself in line

-for humanity's sake.

Levi had found his own direction

He'd determined his resolve as soon as he heard of Farlan and Isabel's deaths

To avenge them by ushering humanity to victory

So, if he didn't need someone to lead him to the light,

what did he need?

Someone to keep him there

Hanji vowed to be the one to help anchor him

Because Hanji didn't care if Levi's hands were never meant to hold roses

If they were too calloused, too battle-scarred, or too bloodstained

She didn't mind that his lips had never whispered a tender word

If they were too busy spewing insulting profanities

She found it unlikely that his eyes might soften

If the graphite orbs had long since frozen over

Hanji could've laughed at these clichés

He didn't need to fit the image of some model lover

She embraced his character, all of it,

just as he embraced hers.

He cherished her eccentricities,

her maniacal laugh,

the unladylike twinkle in her eyes.

He promised her that one day,

when the war was over,

they would live and they would love.

For now, they just had to settle

-for a subdued affection.

Because Levi's hands didn't have to hold roses

to be able to hold her.


End file.
